Dundonians have been baffled by the bonce of national bard Rabbie Burns and why the city centre statue is targeted by seagulls.
The iconic figure’s head is regularly spattered with bird poo which is reckoned to cost £20,000 to remove each time while cleaning and polishing the head.
And despite two other bronze statues also set outside the McManus Museum, it has only been poor Rabbie who attracts the unwanted attention from the frequent flyer gulls on their bombing missions.
Last week, councillor Lynn Short even proffered that one malicious gull had been behind the regular attacks.
The Tele investigation team has been digging deep to try and reveal to residents of the fair city just why Burns is belted in an unsightly fashion.
One theory in our Poirot-style probe centred on the possibility of the other two statues, engineer James Carmichael and Queen Victoria, being made from a different material.
But that drew a blank after Dundee City Council confirmed that all the statues were made of bronze.
However, one other source we spoke to came up with the scourge of Dundee and its swooping seagulls sitting atop of Burns’ head to establish a perfect view of unsuspecting citizens with their snacks before pouncing.
Just last week a woman was left cursing when her glasses were knocked off by an attacking seagull which snatched her Greggs steak bake in the terrifying raid.
She said: “My glasses are okay and so am I, but it’s scoffed my steak bake after taking it right out my hand. It’s wing caught my glasses and sent them flying.
“These seagulls are getting worse and the mess they leave on that statue is awful. I just hope this one’s next poo is a hedgehog.”
Telegraph editor Dave Lord said: “The poor old bard really is getting a bit of rough treatment with gulls, quite literally, doing the dirty on him.
“It is quite remarkable that his near neighbours seem to be getting off lightly by comparison.
“I have to say that when a councillor suggested the desecration of Rabbie’s napper could be down to one rogue gull, it was met with incredulity – surely she will not be proved correct.
“When we called for the council to buff up the bard’s bonce we suspected it might a talking point and so it has proved.
“While a cost of £20,000 sounds prohibitive (not to mention a tad far-fetched), it would nevertheless be fascinating to know why Burns is being picked upon in this wholly ignoble manner when others remain free from aerial assault.”