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Movie Reviews - 01 September 2004
Features: Linda Barclay > Activate > Grapevine > Books
Diesel fumes
Richard B. Riddick (Vin Diesel), the bald, mightily muscled, mildly superpowered anti-hero of sci-fi horror hit Pitch Black (2000), pitches back on to the big screen with The Chronicles Of Riddick (15, previewed at Dundee Odeon), writes Phil Weir.

But don’t go along expecting this sequel to be the equal of its prequel. As fun as the new film is, and even though both episodes share the same director and writing team, in style and content the new chapter is a zillion light years away from the first.

Chronicles kicks off with an overview of the Necromongers (no affiliation to the fishmongers, the ironmongers or the costermongers). This evil horde is sweeping through the universe on a dark crusade, crushing friendly worlds under their boots as they proceed.

Their many legions wheel around the scenery like they honed their squarebashing at Nazi Party rallies in the 1930s. Oh, and they wear armour and flit about in spaceships that both seemed to have been fashioned out of ornately-carved coal.

Their brutal, all-controlling big boss, who answers to the name Lord Marshal (Colm Feore), is described at one point as “a holy half-dead who has seen the Underverse”. Yea, verily, we all know his type well. He’s got one foot in this world, one foot in the next world, and a third foot up the backside of anyone who dares cross him.

Anyway, when the fine folks who live on the gentle planet of Helion learn the Necromongers are ripping across the stars in their direction, they send bounty hunters to a distant, icy orb to snare Riddick, because he is one of the last surviving Furions, the only race that can get a Necromonger’s knees a-knocking.

Of course, Riddick, sticking closely to the rules of the Loners’ Union, isn’t interested in helping. When told the universe could be about to end, he yawningly replies, “It’s got to end sometime.”

However, when the Necromonger juggernaut bears down on the few people Riddick has some feelings for, he begins to fume and flex his fists.

At this point, most viewers will tumble to the fact that the Necromongers should stop making any long-term plans for themselves.

In the low-budget Pitch Black, some bare Aussie badlands were passed off as a distant, harsh planet and director David Twohy had Riddick playing peek-a-boo with swarms of huge dino-bats. That film’s pared-down looks, sparingly-shown monsters and nocturnal action made for one very frightening viewing experience.

For a start, Chronicles is in no way scary. It’s an out-and-out action movie which is as special-effects heavy as any film I’ve seen in a long time. That said, though, it looks tremendous and, with the plot sprawling across several weird worlds, there’s always some novel and interesting eye candy popping up.

The story rattles along at a great pace and although Diesel may not be God’s greatest gift to acting, neither is he Vin ordinaire. He looks cool in the opaque contact lenses that his see-in-the-dark character demands, he delivers sarcastic one-liners with lazy authority, and when he’s called on to smoulder and explode, far-better-rated thespians are caught like chaff in the blast, and left scorched, if not incinerated.

Any good roles for women here? Thandie Newton pops up as a senior Necromongeress, and Dame Judi Dench floats regally about as a second-sighted, ghostly Elemental — imagine, if you will, a blend of Queen Victoria, Gandalf and a Fairy Godmother.

VERDICT: No way deserving of the title Pitch Black 2, but a solid two hours’ worth of entertainment.

PPPP

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